I just run. Faster. Faster. Faster.
My bare feet are getting scratched and scathed from the rough gravel beneath me, the frost and dew numbing my toes, making the pain bearable. I know that I need to get away, and fast. I can’t let them find me, I can’t let them find us. God, my heart is beating so hard, it’s banging against my rib cage, trying to get out. I can hear the blood pulsing in my ears, it’s almost deafening.
Bang. Bang. Bang. Fuck, how could they have known?
There comes a sudden scream for help from back in the distance, sending electric jolts through my body. Automatically my grip tightens on the sleeping bundle I’m holding to my chest.
My thoughts flash to before... The shouts, the blood... The man, the white policeman which a face so perturbed and distorted. His eyes full to the brim of anger and hatred. His spit which left his mouth, flying straight into my face as he shouted to his friend, telling him that he had found two more.
No!
I can’t let myself think about this. I feel myself slowing... No. Faster. My body intakes a sharp frosty breath, which burns my lungs. My eyes fill with water and I feel the tears running down my cheeks. Involuntarily – I stop. I can’t carry on.
This is too hard. But why? What is wrong with me? My aim is simple, my goal is easy. Apparently, I just can’t do it; not for me and not for my daughter.
My eyes look down past Keisha to my feet. Realisation dooms through me as I watch the thick red liquid pour out of my foot, merging in with the frost I was standing on. It was like watching water from a tap. But where is the pain? Why is this not hurting me?
The delicate bundle of pink blankets stirs in my arms. Her eyes slowly open and look straight into mine. Momentarily, I forget the world, I forget where we are and what we are doing here. I stare at my daughter, oozing with innocence and love, unaware of the trouble we’re in. I imagine what it would be like if I could provide her with safety, money and food. The exquisite house we would live in with a white picket fence and soft cotton beds, the handsome husband I would have with the high-powered, high-paying job, the education and class I could give to my delightful daughter. Her beautiful eyes explore me, her mother; the lame excuse of a mother that I am, not the sophisticated, stable woman I wish to be. All I want is what is best for her, yet here we are. Running away, cold and lost.
I’m suddenly aware of the cold, it’s freezing. The bitter chill bites at my flesh, and my body starts to shake uncontrollably. Keisha wriggles in my arms, her faint eyebrows knitting together. I must keep going, I need to get as far away as possible.
I start to run once again. Faster. Faster. Faster.
My breath runs away from me, I try to catch it but fail miserably. My legs become almost jelly-like, wobbling beneath me. My foot gets caughts in some kind of vine on the floor causing me to fall flat on my face. Brilliant.
Keisha screams beneath me as I roll onto my back. I feel blinding pain in my head, so sore that I can barely think, I feel blood flowing down my face, knitting itself in my eyebrows and staining my already stained skin as it went. Between the cries of my daughter and the excruciating pain, I hear boots on the leaves. I see torch lights. My stomach ties itself in a hundred knots as it dooms on me.
Shit. They’ve found us.
I struggle to my feet, fumbling blindly in the dark for my baby – feeling her rough blankets I swing her up into my cut arms and turn to start to run.
“STOP!” I hear a loud booming voice and see the torchlight showing my silhouette on the tree infront of me. “Put your hands in the air!” My adrenalin kicks in like never before, my legs forget all of the pain and fatigue automatically moving my body away. And fast.
I feel the presence of them behind me, I hear their boots stomping on the wildlife beneath us, I smell the hatred, the anger, the disgust simply oozing from the men. I taste blood in my mouth as my teeth sink into my tongue. I see fear.
“On the ground with your hands in the air!” I hear again. This time the voice sounds more faraway. I’m loosing them. Triumph shoots through me as my legs continue to move myself and my daughter.
And then it happens.
I hear a deafening sound. I heard it before I felt it. The pain in my leg sears through me... I feel the bullet exit the other side, tearing through the muscle and skin as it goes. My leg gives way, my body collapses. My vision blurs to red, my head cracking against the floor, shooting every dose of pain and fear through my body once more. Eventually everything fades to black.
